Enjoy the Park

I have not felt this warm and blank for a long time. It is mid-August. I am at JB Nature Farm in Surigao City for a three-day workshop on photography and social media management, which are not new to me. I could easily skip the event, honestly. But I took the opportunity to pause and observe myself when out of the office or in my usual headspace in Butuan.

Every day is another learning opportunity, they say. And I still believe that. But at this point, career-wise, I am convinced that what I am gaining is optimum. I have never felt this sure: I want to graze a new mountain. There is that. But I unexpectedly gained another point of view from a workmate who also attended the training with me.

I learned we have the same birth month and year, but she is older by a few days. She graduated last year, which I overheard when she was talking about university life with another colleague. I ended up participating in the conversation, and by then, we shared how long we had been working in the government. She had less than a year of working experience. "I have three," I said without excitement in my tone.

She is friendly and all smiles to everyone. I remember exuding that fresh outlook early in my career, being new to the post-college world, and walking as though the floor is made of eggshells. I remember interacting with her early this year when she visited our office to consolidate some numbers. It was budget-related, which was not my area of concern. But we agreed I would relay her queries to the concerned officer. She appeared to have the same energy from that time to this day. And I admire her for that.

I overthink about being stuck with the job I have right now that is paying me well. But here comes this woman my age, appearing vibrant. That struck me like an incomprehensible stumble in an open field. I have entertained these not-faring-well thoughts long enough when I could easily walk and enjoy the park.

There is no denying that what I want is what I think I need, but maybe not so soon, which is another hard candy to swallow. And it took one humble person to make me realize that.