This Mark

There remains disbelief whenever I think about being 25 years old already. I recently put out my first passion project, Silvering, about navigating my early twenties from feeling lost after graduation to finding value in work, traveling, and new connections. Central to the book is accepting that along with the many lessons is growing up.

I have never been more proud of that book because it captures my transition from naiveness to knowing better. These days, I still see the same Mark in the mirror, but he understands that the world is a salad bowl, complex but vibrant altogether.

But older is also broader in perspective. Often in the office, I find myself almost drowning in my chair, slapped by the idea that there’s a part of my job that I have outgrown. And this is hard to swallow because I wanted it before. I appreciate public relations in a university setting, but my core is development issues. I miss working in the field and taking in the stories of our local clientele. Plus, rural air is a healer. It feeds the eager writer.

Yesterday, I joined the hiring panel to interview three prospects for an entry-level position in our office. One that interested me is a bold fresh graduate. He has a license in agriculture practice but does not plan to apply it yet. He wants to explore and see more of the world beyond his degree.

The panelists agreed that he is most qualified but might not stay long because he mentioned being unsure of what he wants other than exploring the world. I understand the decision from a managerial lens; we want those who will stay. But he is young. I relate to the eagerness to see what is far from our tree. It lingers.

Sitting there offered me insight into how hiring works. Some of the most passionate words can sound flowery and insincere, even if we mean them. Smirks formed before a finished response is the face of skepticism.

One thing I know is I do not want to be sixty and insomniac because I passed on the ball when it arrived in my court. I masked this when asked who I recommend. “I prefer the other applicant who mentioned photography is his passion because he might not leap like the other.” Despite his license in professional teaching, he has taken the photography route and even volunteered in church for the same service out of passion. He possesses the skills and dedication we need in the office.

Reflecting on it, I did the office and that applicant a favor. Our office will have a dedicated addition, while I saved that well-spoken and multi-skilled applicant from spending time on the wrong bus. He will be happier beyond our gates, probably lost but wiser in the end. I know that because we hear the same siren. But this Mark hums patience.