Insight: Self first before Others

“Live together like brothers and do business like strangers.” ~ Arab Proverb

The world hasn’t got enough space for all 7.8B of us to inhabit individual islands. We are humans meant to coexist with our relatives and non-relatives we can make friends with, even enemies or strangers, your take. But as humans as we are, life requires us to take matters on our own most of the time. So, I agree with the preceding argument.

Commerce, for example, requires us to spend our own money in exchange for goods. The rule is: we have to pay for what we receive because there is value in the act of trading. Such a rule applies beyond goods and services. By nature, our construct as humans has always been paying what we owe.

In the broadest yet socially relatable take, we are all in the business of exchange with our friends or foes. But our priorities have to come first, and, more often than not, we have to set aside brotherly affiliation to advance our goals.

Such a blatant truth on the rule of survival, but fair enough because we cannot advance our goals if our ‘brothers’ rob us of our potential.

In the social arena, growth requires focusing on our path—our own business. So, we cannot blame the ones who are 20/20 in their pursuits and operate with the “business first, brothers next” rule because, admittedly, we think and act the same way too.

Nonetheless, we should be mindful of the extent to which we think of ourselves. The danger with too much individualism is it may lead to willful blindness, which Margaret Heffernan in her book of the same title argues, somehow makes us feel safer [but] actually leaves us crippled, vulnerable, and powerless.

Too much of everything is harmful. So, it helps to check our biases as often as we change shirts. I believe striking a balance between us and a whole lot of the world is a lifetime pursuit.

Now 21, relatively young to hold an extensive grasp of the world, I find solace in chasing after my unheard dreams and keeping them intact as I walk my way through them. But almost as an epiphany, I realize the importance of caring for others the same way I care for myself.

By and large, in maintaining personal space, it wouldn’t hurt us if we keep our doors open for response. As a general rule, however, we need to be extra careful and mindful of whom we let through the door.

This proverb is poignant.