On occasional emptiness and goodness

Most times, we don’t get our emotions in check. We start the day feeling just right and better in between, but end it feeling worse or just empty. Maybe social media’s doing, in my case, because therein involves stalking and unconscious comparing. Or it’s just me and my being human.

Earlier, I officially met my classmates in one of the classes for my MS degree. Our professor initiated an introductory activity where we introduce ourselves with an adjective that best describes our current state. I remember doing the same exercise a few years back but forgotten the word I used then. I opened a new tab on Chrome and typed positive adjectives starting with m.

I know by now that the greatest mystery and a potential source of misery for young adults is not knowing where they should be.

When elaborating on why I connected with the word mature, I talked about growing older and simply knowing better. For the first time since college, I had more than ten people listening before me as I explain the enforced maturity I wore on upon entering the employment world. They related to me, one way or another, and that assured me I am not alone on the road.

Also, a reminder that I am a grain in the shore and joined by other grains. It was not apparent when I ran to my favorite bakery around 5 PM right after the class ended. Things and emotions make sense in the most subtle moments when you are alone, either in the bathroom or in your bedroom. Today, it was after dinner while listening to LANY’s latest album in bed.

People say your happiness depends solely on your conscious attempt to look for it when the world denies it. Though, I remain convinced that the world is becoming crueler with bad politics, terrorism, and many more depressing global issues here and there. But visible from the mountaintop, some areas are sunny. There I will be.